My Story

Haha...woke up late today...Ee Hiang came and woke me (wow!!) so u can imagine how late haha...well just narrowly missed breakfast. Then rushed off to 9am tutorial luckily he din go thru much yet hehe...

9-4 days without any breaks isn't very nice to go through...lucky it's only on odd weeks and it's going to end soon. Phew...tired out...I can't seem to stay up late to do work nowadays...end up sleeping on the table or something... And I still have so much to do...my EE2006 project need to make the wires neat, then need to do report leh...haven't even drawn out the design on my comp yet...arghh... Still got GEM assignment, me and Shu Lin aimed to finish it by this week...I sure hope I can come up with something by the end of the week so that we'll be just left with editing to do next week...please....brain....WORK.... I don't seem to be in the studying mood these days...either I doze off or my mind just wanders off geesh....and I have 3 tests next week..though they're all open book...but I still need to study...what's wrong with me... :(

On another note, I'm pretty disturbed... I know there's a lot of kinds of people in this world, I just never expected my friend to be one of them. Worst thing is I watched her change...if I knew her afterwards only maybe I wouldn't feel anything. Watching her change, not knowing how to help, makes me wonder what should I have done, what could I have done to stop it. Looking back, I couldn't really help anyway, after all it's her life. I wasn't always there around her anyway so I couldn't really influence her much... But, just thinking...if I could change anything...if only I could turn back time and understand her better...maybe I could have...I don't know...

VHDL test today...wasn't very good. Cos I didn't have enough time. Interpreting the question (though short) was hard enough. EE2006 questions tend to be vague and brief haih...anyway what's past is past can't do much bout it nw.

At nite, it was Halloween celebration in hall. Basically involved in helping out in the ghost house. My location along with Ee Hiang and Shu Lin was the mahjong house. The couple that comes in has to separate into 2...girl play mahjong while the guy go and search for a heart. Some came in threes or both guys which is very hard to scare. Overall in the end, I think the ghosts were all too hot and tired of screaming haha...isn't as if the ppl are really scared anyway. After all they know most of the "ghosts". But, I think there were some who were genuinely scared though. On our part, haha...we tried our best...making the situation both funny and scary...the mahjong game ended up being trying to build a pyramid with the tiles...the detachable head was cool though hot and not easy to coordinate...the screams were the best...Shu Lin...I think u're actually a very capable coordinator haha...pakar in scaring ppl la...but ownself watch movie scared pulak hehe...

By the way, it was cool learning how to play Mahjong from Shu Lin with Jern Tat and Xiao Di. Me and JT were so funny during our first games cos he can't recognise the chinese characters while I get mixed up with the patterns. Finally, got to learn how to play haha...pretty addictive...lucky I dun hv access to a Mahjong set and I didn't get to play many games haha...if not...I think my time would really fly away pretty quickly...coupled with Sushido and Scramble (though not playing much d these days)... =p

Only had one lecture today. EE2009 was rather interesting. He has always been entertaining...the lecturer haha. Today he used certain analogies in real world situation to describe DFT (Discrete Fourier Transform). Haha it was a cool way using boy find girl situations to relate to it...it really will stick into ur memory especially the guys in the guys toilet analogy...of course maybe the analogy will stick more instead of the academic stuff haha...

Spent the rest of the whole day going through VHDL...dunno how I'll fare tmr...hopefully I can manage to analyse the question properly and remember the syntax....mmm...

At nite, had tech meeting...I keep asking Jasvind if he's sure he wants me to be major...cos I'm really not confident. He keeps saying that I can do it wan la...bla bla... Going to the meeting, I realise and know that there are surely more ppl more experienced than me such as those who were in concert tech and those who were in tech in JC... Surely, they have more hands-on compared to me who only joined tech last year...that also for hall events only...nothing much... Although I can say I learnt quite some bit about the equipment...I dun really have the confidence to teach ppl haha...mmm....hopefully the basic setting up part can handle la...please have patience with my blurness haha...Wen Qiao...me and u must jia you lor...=p

Ah today I didn't get much studying done also. Just did some VHDL with Ho Yuet who came over to use my Xilinx (it's the program that we use). Just the basics covered though...mmm I wonder how I would fare for the test haih...

An act of kindness really would make u feel good. It really brightens up my life when there's someone who can help me, who can save me. Although they might not know how much it means to me but yea it really makes me feel not that alone anymore. On the receiving end, it's definitely a great feeling but I'm sure those handing out the help feels even more fulfilling. I think I should do my part...I should start helping out others whenever I can, who cares bout what else I have to do, if I organise my time properly I'm sure to get it all done. Suddenly feel like going all out to do something, to help others, make their life less difficult (or worsen it I dunno =p)...I'll try to give all I can, hope it relieves others and also hope that it'll make my life satisfied. Although my scope here is not very wide haha...but I'll do what I can. Gambatte everyone!!!

Have you had a kindness shown?
Pass it on;
'Twas not given for thee alone,
Pass it on;
Let it travel down the years,
Let it wipe another's tears,
'Til in Heaven the deed appears -
Pass it on.
~Henry Burton, Pass It On

Schedule for the last few schooling weeks:-
Week 11 - VHDL test, tech meeting, Einstein assignment partial completion
Week 12 - EE2009 test, EE2006 project oral presentation, Einstein test, also assignment...
Week 13 - Probably EE2012 test, Einstein assignment due, block supper

I did expect this 2nd part of the term to be hectic...phew...sometimes I really wonder how I go on haha... =p

Finally, my project seems to be working properly d. Hopefully, it's really correct d and there won't be any more problems. It really takes a great effort getting this thing to work...I wonder how am I gonna fare in the 2001 project next time. Anyway, a big thank you to Kok Loon and Cosine (Li Heng) for helping me in the process of debugging. I think without your help, I would still be stuck at the same stage...sometimes it really takes a fresh pair of eyes to help look at it...like Ee Hiang who can spot some space to stuff my wires so that they won't overlap haha... I'm glad that its finally done...nw need to help others get theirs working haha...

VHDL test is on Wednesday. Hmm can't say I'm very well prepared. I went through the tutorials and most seem quite easy except for one which I still haven't understood yet. But, I do have to remember that the test's closed book. So, I have to remember the syntax. Probably have to do some practice but dunno where I'm gonna dig the time out. Though tmr is a public holiday, I still have to do my Einstein assignment to discuss with Shu Lin, block comm meeting at nite...daytime Ho Yuet is coming over...hope we can do some VHDL together...time is flying past quickly yet again...

For instance tonight, I din really study cos the night just flew past me. After dinner, I called my dad. I've made it a point to call every week so that we'll be in close touch with each other. Cos my dad doesn't sms unlike my mum and sis whom I can sms anytime. I would still look forward to calls from my mum though...*hints* =p But, the call was quality time and I'm always glad after it. After that, Manoj came to see my design and we spent the whole night finding out that he didn't connect his ground to well, the ground...haha...of cos loads of other things but I think I couldn't really help him much...after all he would be the most familiar wif his own design but hopefully some fresh eyes managed to help him somehow haha...Throughout the whole nite also was constantly chatting...dunno y some days got so many ppl to chat to whereas some days none at all haha...

I was so occupied the whole nite that I didn't even manage to follow the badminton live score (World Junior Championships and Denmark Open Super Series)...imagine that...Which by the way, the Malaysia lost to China in the world junior BUT Chin Eei Hui-Wong Pei Ty FINALLY beat their Indon opponents to the title. Their 3rd final this year in the absence of top South Korean and Chinese opponents. And, finally they have nailed it in straight sets cool. Congrats to them for ending their 6-year title drought...

Also, dunno y I've been spending so much time modifying my blog template haha...hope it's nice...cos I want this template I have to use the "old-school" Blogger using HTML to edit my stuff...of cos mostly it's js copying and pasting code but at least now after C and C++ I roughly noe where to paste it haha...it has some uses after all...not bad haha... =p

Arh...time seems to be a great issue for me these days. It really seems to fly by pretty quickly. For instance today, morning went for badminton training whole morning gone...then made a drink for lunch...eat finish warhh...2.30pm liao. Then spent the whole afternoon trying to settle my circuit. I wanna finish it off quickly so that I can spend time on other things like studies and my exam coming soon on Wednesday...but problems after problems happen to my circuit. I keep getting stumped at what has gone wrong...no idea...sometimes I need a pair of fresh eyes to see for me...check it for me...but there doesn't seem to be anyone around...most ppl have gone back since it's a "long" weekend...anyway I guess I've gotta take a break from the circuit awhile as Kok Loon suggests...hopefully I can trace the problem and be done with this thing...just wish for more time....give me time...

Ah...past few days haven't been studying at all. All because of the stupid ee2006 project and also probably because of the stupid me that dunno how to plan time properly...how I do also cannot finish the project wan. Nw that I have finished wiring it, it cannot work also. Damn. Suddenly feel so alone...dunno who to ask...dunno who can help me...probably my best bet is GA. He's nice and helpful, js that I'm very shy dun really dare to ask about whatever problems that I may have. Not like that red haired girl in my lab group who even asked for his number wow...but I guess between PRC-s it's easier to talk. Anyway, my project is not very difficult...the logic isn't....I dunno why I'm dragging it so long. I want to finish it by end of this week hopefully...cos I've got test next Wed which I haven't even studied for. I really dunno how I'm gonna cope, how I'm gonna catch up...I've said to myself that I won't abandon my studies for the project...but it doesn't seem like I have much choice. I keep thinking that once I finish this off then I can focus on my studies d...haih...it's not so hard to do...many ppl have finished...y haven't I...so lonely....need to thank Kok Loon though. He's been a great help...cos we're doin the same project and he would understand it...and always tells me to calm down, think straight, slowly do...haih....projeccctttt...rarrr....I think I'll be switching to wireless soon to avoid anymore wires haha....phobia liao...siennnn...

I seem to blog only when I have a lot of crappy stuff to say...when my mood is down. I am really wondering what is life...for a university student like myself...

Is it only about studies? Is that all we need to care about in these 4 years? Our grades?? It can't be right...life can't revolve around studies alone. Ok then what it is about then? The experience of uni life? The activities, the people, the friends we make?? If it is so, what is so special about coming to NUS. I'm sure I can get all these in local uni as well...

Looking back, maybe I shouldn't have come here at all. Although yea the opportunities here are supposed to be better, quality is supposedly better...but weighing this AND the time with my family if I had gone to UM instead...honestly, I think my family time carries much more weight than being here. If you look at the time now, it's been already 1 year here...each day passes, the days turn into months...how often do I get to spend time with my family? A year just flies past...and the time we spend together just flies by in a blink of an eye...

I'm beginning to think that I'm just not that type of person to be overseas (and this is only Singapore)...I'm just realising how much I want to spend time with my family, how much I miss them, how much I want to be at home, how much I miss stuff back in Klang. Of course you may argue that I did spend the past 19 years at home, it's time to be independent... But I don't want to... Just what do I have to keep me going...if I can't go back to the comfort of home everyday or at the very least every weekend... If only I had went to local uni...I would be enjoying that now...

Suddenly feel so empty inside me, there's nothing there in me...nothing to push me on...what ought I go on for...I really don't know what should I do...there's only regrets after regrets...if only I could turn back time...